Nick stared in awe at the boy in bed with him. “You are like my own personal miracle,” he whispered. “How do you continue to amaze me? You’re strong and brave and I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone for me. You’re fighting for us, Ash, and for our family, and I’m so unbelievably grateful to get to have you in my life.” Ash ducked his head bashfully and Nick folded their fingers together, then kiss the back of his hand. He nudged Ash’s chin up with their fingers and kissed his incredible human. “You are without a doubt the most incredible person I’ve ever met and I can’t even begin to imagine what I did to deserve you.”

  That time it was Ash who kissed him and then he took his hand and brought it down, placing Nick’s hand on his butt like he’d done to Ash a few minutes before. Nick didn’t move at first, he just kissed him back and let him get comfortable with his touch, then slowly he began to explore.

  Ash’s skin was soft and warm and he gently glided his hand over the rounded fullness of his cheek. Ash had one arm curled between them, but his other was roaming from Nick’s shoulder, down his arm to his back and down over his butt. He definitely wasn’t shy in wanting to feel Nick’s skin under his palm.

  Taking his time, though Nick let Ash do what he wanted, but Nick wanted to savor every touch. He wanted to remember their first time exploring each other that way. He knew in the months and years to come that they would gain an unspoken language and understanding of exactly what each of them desired and enjoyed, but mapping every inch of Ash’s skin was undoubtedly going to become his new favorite pasttime.

  It was no wonder their Connection had been suffering. He need this. He needed to feel Ash this way, to be close to him beyond just their mental Connection. He needed to feel his warm flesh and heartbeat and hear him breathing, soaking in every sensation. People were tactile creatures and Nick wanted to reinforce his love and adoration of Ash through his touch as well as his words.

  “Can I?” he asked, gently trailing his fingers along the crease at Ash’s groin. Ash nodded, but prefaced it by asking him to go slow.

  Nick responded by encouraging Ash into a slow and tender meeting of their mouths and as they lovingly explored each other in a familiar and comfortable way, Nick softly moved his hand. He stayed at Ash’s lower belly, enjoying the feel of his coarse hair as it rasped through his fingers. Moving from one side to the other, he slowly ran his fingers across Ash’s exposed skin, going lower with each pass. When he finally encountered Ash’s swirl of hair at his most hidden spot, he didn’t rush or dive right in. He circled and brought his fingers around and over the tops of his legs using soft caresses, gradually closing in on the heat he could feel radiating from his core.

  Ash lifted his leg and placed his calf up on Nick’s hip, opening himself up in a manner that warmed Nick’s heart. He was showing him how much he trusted him and telling him without words, that he was alright.

  Ash moved at the same time he did, both of them trailing fingers closer and as Ash finally wrapped his fingers around Nick’s length, Nick finally curved his hand and cupped Ash, holding him without moving for a moment just to let him feel his presence.

  Ash didn’t seem to have as many reservations, and even though Nick could tell he was holding his breath a bit, his hand had taken an interest in what it had found.

  Nick gently curled his fingers, just feeling the nest of hair there, then tentatively moved on and explored the area more thoroughly. He ran his fingers over the crease in Ash’s groin and down along his inner thighs, then returned to his lower belly and up over his hip, trailing his palm over the sensual roundness of Ash’s backside and down his hamstring and calf.

  They both continued their first sensual explorations of each other, not intending to rile or excite the other, just simply getting to know the other’s body and touch them in their most vulnerable places. And minutes passed as they kissed and moved onto necks and ears, all the while whispering words of love and affirmation, and Nick could feel his Connection with Ash strengthening as they instilled their trust in each other and in their love.

  Nick held Ash close with their legs tangled together and bodies flush, late into the afternoon and early evening. They’d both napped a little and chatted quietly on and off about various things. Nick told Ash he’d sent off an email to the work study program, backing out of any placement, and Ash shared that Rick and his mom had been talking about summer work for them after Ash graduated. It seemed Rick would probably offer them jobs with his LGBT-friendly hiking, backpacking, and outdoor tour company. He knew that they needed to be together and thought he could help them out if they were interested in learning more about the outdoors.

  It wasn’t until their stomachs rumbled that they reluctantly sought out their underwear and dressed again, touching constantly and sharing kisses as they made an easy chicken and pasta dish for dinner. They ate on the patio as the September evening wound down, then went for a walk down to a neighborhood park. Nick spoke about his time in the cemetery and the beautiful pond with all the ducks there and Ash confessed that that was the same place his father had been buried. Nick pressed a kiss to his temple and suggested they visit the next day to spend some time with his dad and feed the ducks. Ash smiled and agreed and they swung on the swings until it was too dark to see, then slowly walked home hand in hand.

  Stevie greeted them both and seemed to note the improvement in their bond because she kept smiling and shooting them little looks. Maybe they had both been suffering too long with their incomplete Connection and it had caused others to worry as well.

  Ash suggested a movie in the living room and while Nick and Stevie made popcorn, Ash went in search of Split, one of his favorite movies, since the next installment was scheduled for release soon.

  “You’re both looking so much happier today,” Stevie commented quietly while they waited for the popcorn to finish up. “I know Ash has probably been a little reluctant in sharing himself with you, but I just want to say thank you for being patient with him. He’s not in an easy place right now, but I know how grateful he is to have you. I am too and as his mother, I always worried for him that he would struggle when it came to finding acceptance. I hoped that whoever fate had chosen for him would be understanding, but you’ve been so much more than that and I just wanted you to know how thankful I am to have you in our lives.” She wrapped her slender hand around his bicep and gave him a squeeze.

  When the popcorn finished and they were melting some butter, Ash came in and wrapped his arms around Nick’s waist from behind. Nick turned and hugged him close.

  “Movie’s up. You want a soda or some water? ” Ash asked, resting his head on Nick’s shoulder.

  “A soda would be perfect,” Nick said, dropping a kiss to Ash’s forehead. “Thanks, love.”

  Ash grinned and kissed him back softly on the lips. “You’re welcome. Mom, you want anything?” he asked, moving over to the fridge to grab out some drinks.

  “Just water. Thanks, Ash,” she replied, and when they were all set with their goodies, they snuggled into the sofa while Stevie took the recliner.

  Ash covered them with a blanket he’d brought from their room and pulled his knees up to his chest to curl into Nick’s side. He wrapped his arm around Ash’s shoulders and it wasn’t until they’d set aside their popcorn that Nick discovered the reason for the blanket.

  Ash subtly moved his hand to rest on Nick’s thigh and every few minutes he’d slide it up just a bit, causing Nick Jr. to perk up and take notice. At one point, Ash even faked needing to hide his eyes, so he could readjust and get his clever little fingers all but wrapped around Nick’s very interested member. Nick was torn between wanting to die of embarrassment that his boyfriend was literally fondling him while they watched a movie with his mom, but he was also so completely aroused by their sneaky little rendezvous and the thrill of getting away with something naughty.

  Not wanting to be the only one suffering, Nick abandoned his movie watching, though he continued to fake it for pretenses, and focused on teasing Ash the same way. It was a challenge since he had one arm around Ash’s shoulders and Ash’s toes were buried under his thigh, blocking him from easy access, not to mention Ash’s left hand that was discretely trying to pull down his zipper. Using only slow movements so he wouldn’t draw any suspicion from Stevie, he brought his right hand up to capture Ash’s fingers, stroking them sensually and suggestively and he encouraged Ash to work together to get his zipper down, one agonizing tooth at a time, the sound of it seemed bound to give them away. But Ash knew the movie well and played to the music and theatrics of the suspense so he could capitalize on moments of surprise to make bigger advances.

  They managed to get the placket spread enough that Ash could slip his small hand inside and he worked to free Nick through the opening in his underwear. Every little move and stroke and grip of his fingers was sending Nick spiraling into one of the most aroused states of his life and he had trouble keeping his eyes open and had to force himself not to bite his lip or make any noise.

  He placed his hand on top of Ash’s and gripped him, rubbing his skin with small movements. It was so erotic to be holding Ash while he held Nick, poking out of his underwear, teasing him and stroking him and using his blunt nails to drive him crazy. He could barely remember to keep up his facade and together, with an unbelievable amount of arousal coursing through Nick’s veins, they jacked him off using his precome as lube. He closed his eyes and held his breath, shifting his hips to disguise how badly he wanted to thrust into Ash’s grip and he shot out, all over their hands, his shorts, and his underwear.

  Ash was still holding him and gently stroking his fingers through his mess and otherwise showed no signs of anything happening at all, eyes fixed on the movie. But as Nick tried to calm his racing heart, he also wanted to return the favor and love his guy to the moon and back.

  Uncaring at that point what state he was in, he slowly brought his hand over and snuck it between Ash’s ankles, drawn to his heat like a magnet and Ash subtly spread his feet apart, creating a bit more room for his larger hand to move.

  Thankfully, Ash had put on some loose fitting basketball shorts and the legs had slid down his thighs and pooled in his lap since his knees were still up to his chest. Nick took advantage of the stretchy material but freaked and stilled when Stevie shifted in her chair. When she settled again and he was sure he was in the clear, he continued, slowly pulling aside the forgiving fabric and rubbing the backs of his fingers along Ash’s underwear.

  Ash shivered slightly and slowly stroked his sensitive softening dick, but withdrew his hand and moved his attention to what Nick was asking for. Without any words or communication, Ash slid his hand in between his ankle and butt and grabbed the back of Nick’s hand, pressing it against him and giving him the green light to make his move.

  Without even a sound, Ash lifted his butt up, allowing Nick some room to slip his hand through the leg opening and under his butt to grip the back waistband of his underwear, slowly pulling it forward and over the globes of his ass. Ash somehow managed to maintain the position, but Nick used the opportunity to loosen Ash’s underwear from his skin and carefully and slowly inserted his hand in the gap he’d created.

  He pressed the heel of his palm against Ash’s core and rubbed him in small gentle circles, using a moderate amount of pressure. He could hear Ash’s breath and with his body pressed so tight into Nick’s he could feel the change in his breathing as he became more aroused.

  Nick slowly withdrew his hand and brought it back to his own lap where he gathered a small glob of his own release and then returned to Ash’s pleasure, sensually spreading his seed over Ash’s delicate bud. He used the pad of his thumb to apply gentle pressure and rubbed small slow circles, feeling Ash twitch with each pass of his thumb as his tender bundle of nerves was stimulated and brought to life.

  The movie was nearing its high point and as the music escalated, Ash gripped Nick’s hand and shifted it down to his last hole, encouraging him with a small demonstration to continue what he’d been doing with his thumb while Ash took over on his bundle of nerves. Nick couldn’t keep from leaning in and kissing him, a quick sensual swipe of tongue and he brought the arm over Ash’s shoulders down behind his back, managing to get his fingers inside the waistband of his shorts.

  A quick glance toward the recliner gave him the courage he needed to move and he kissed his guy, feeling his own arousal swell again as they got lost in each other.

  With Ash’s butt off the sofa and back away from the cushion, Nick’s left hand took over massaging his rear entrance, while he placed his right hand over Ash’s, feeling him work his bud. Nick’s fingers slid down to join in the gentle pressure and Ash about came unglued, kissing him back with everything in him, making the smallest whimpering sounds and when his rhythm changed, Nick changed with him and softly pressed the tip of his middle finger into Ash’s rear hole and he jerked his hips, pulsing around Nick’s finger and moaning out a sound that would have definitely caught Stevie’s attention if she’d been awake. He rode out his climax, thrusting his hips slightly and panting through his nose as Nick gently withdrew his finger. Ash captured his hand and brought it back to his entrance, indicating he wanted Nick’s finger back.

  “Baby,” Nick whispered, pulling away from their kiss. “Let’s go to bed and you can have whatever you want, okay?”

  Ash nodded and as they quietly got off the sofa with the blanket wrapped around them, leaving the movie playing, they tiptoed out of the living room and into their bedroom, where they locked the door, stripped each other down, and spent the night with a bottle of lube and a box of tissues as their companions.

  -XII-

  Over the weekend, they visited the cemetery where Nick had spent so much time earlier in the summer. He told Ash about the ducks and the swan pair and they threw some bread out into the water, enjoying the quiet sunny day with the brilliant blue sky. The huge trees that littered the cemetery grounds provided a most welcome break from the sun and they stood in the shade, just watching the pond.

  Ash led Nick over to where his father had been buried and he introduced himself to Ash’s dad and thanked him for the gift of his son. They spent a while talking to Matt and telling him how they met and how happy there were to have found each other. Ash filled him in on his upcoming surgery and got a bit emotional when he thanked his dad for always being there for him and having his back when he’d needed him most.

  Toward the end of their visit, Nick asked Ash if he could have a moment alone with his dad and when Ash went to stand under the shade of a nearby maple tree, he sank down to one knee and with his hand buried in the grass, asked for Matt’s permission to marry his son. He promised to take the best care of him and to cherish him the way he deserved. He promised to support Ash through his upcoming surgery and to support him through whatever their future held. He may have even silently said something about Matt being a grandpa one day, but if that thought slipped into his head, he held it back because they had a long way to go before either of them were ready to think more about that.

  As he stood from his crouch and looked down at his future father-in-laws grave marker, with Ash watching from nearby, the wind picked up and ruffled his hair, causing a few leaves to swirl in a circle. He turned his face up to the sky and took in a deep breath of the fresh warm air. Ash came over and laced their fingers together, asking if he was ready to go. He pulled his beautiful boy into his arms and held him for a moment longer, before capturing his lips in a soft declaration of things yet to come.

  They spent the rest of their weekend studying, doing a two-mile jog, push-ups, sit-ups, and burpees for Ash’s P.E. requirement, doing some light grocery shopping, and planning out several list of what they would need to buy, and do, in preparation for Ash’s surgery.

  Stevie had been fielding surgery emails and updating them with any new information and they had a list of things they needed to get from the pharmacy and the store to have on hand for both before and after care. Surprisingly, the most commonly recommended items to make sure Ash had were button up shirts, a neck pillow, stool softener, baby wipes, and dry shampoo. Stevie said she’d take care of any medical items they’d need and Ash started preparing his bag.

  There were only going to be in Salt Lake City for one night, since the pre-op was the afternoon beforehand and his surgery was scheduled early the next morning. Stevie said they’d drive home after the surgery in the afternoon so Ash would be more comfortable as his medicines would still be wearing off and they’d have everything they needed to care for him on hand.

  But, by Tuesday morning, ten days before Ash’s surgery, Nick wanted them to do something fun. They’d had a little bit of a stressful weekend and since he didn’t have class and they would both being mentally preparing for the upcoming surgery, he wanted them to have one more day to just goof off and be silly.

  “Hey, baby?” Nick asked as they snuggled together in their bed after waking up to some sleepy kisses and and a bit of fooling around. Ash had, quite literally, shed his protective layers that had guarded him for so long. He insisted they both sleep in their underwear and even though he still wore his binder, it was a softer, less constricting one, that Nick likened more to a tight sports bra that only came part way down his ribs, allowing Nick more access to his belly and back. He quite liked their new sleep arrangements and very much enjoyed feeling Ash’s warm skin against his while they curled up together.

  “Hmm?” Ash asked, rubbing his fingers in the hair at the nape of Nick’s neck.

  “I was thinking of doing something fun today. Maybe our last hoorah before we need to focus on next week.”

  “What were you thinking?” Ash rearranged himself so he was lying between Nick’s legs but resting his head on his hands as he looked up at him.

 

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